Delightful Little Surprise

This morning, as my alarm clock began to ring around a quarter to six, Husband was bustling around just getting ready to come to bed. His work schedule is forcing him to stay up all night, even on his off nights. As he got into bed, I reluctantly forced myself up, and did the first thing I do every morning: I headed for the bathroom. There was a post-it note on the bathroom mirror, something Husband and I use often when our schedules are flip-flopped in order to communicate important or semi-important messages. It said "Breakfast! Cinnamon rolls on the kitchen counter."

What a delight! Husband used his insomnia to give me a wonderful treat. It was so nice to enjoy a hot cinnamon roll with my usual coffee; but it was an even better treat to feel like such a special girl!

In other news: Major congratulations to one of my most loyal readers on welcoming a new baby boy into her family!

Holy Crap! I've been married for a year!

That's right. A year ago today I stood up in front of all my friends and family and promised to be a faithful and loving companion to the man who would become my husband. The funny thing is that after that moment, not a lot has changed. I often get asked, "so how's married life?" I have to reveal the secret I've discovered. Married life is just life.

Well, it's life lived in tune with another life. (And since Husband and I are both musicians, I think I'm going to extend this analogy.) Sometimes we are living on two harmonious notes. Sometimes we live on two notes which are discordant, but which lead back to notes which build a more pleasant sound. And of course, sometimes one of us goes flat and creates quite an unpleasant sound. But that's ok, one will signal to the other to tune back up, and we go right along making fabulous harmonies.

Tonight we'll celebrate by getting dressed up and going out to a nice restaurant. And then tomorrow will be another day. We'll go back to work. I'll fix dinner at the end of the day. I'll groan when he only picks at the food. I'll work on my knitting. He'll play video games. And the next day we'll do it all over again. This is our "happily ever after."

What Keeps Me Sane

I've struggled with chronic anxiety since I was in high school, and I get easily overwhelmed. I was having a particularly bad day recently, and I said to Husband, "It's days like this that make me want to drop everything, pack a backpack with just a few essentials, and take off into the wilderness."

"I don't think I fit into a backpack," Husband said. And suddenly, I didn't feel so eager to get away. It's so nice to be reminded what is important, when all the little things are stressing me out.

And in other news, Husband and I went on a rare date this weekend. We jumped in the car and drove up to Baltimore to see the world-class aquarium there, and wander around the inner harbor. We hardly ever do things like this, so it's that much more special when we do.

Here's a funny bird we saw in the rain forest exhibit:

Mo Money, Mo Problems.

You hear all the time that money is the most common topic of marital arguments. I think that Husband and I have done a great job of managing our finances in a way that allows us to avoid arguing about money most of the time. That's not to say, however, that money isn't a problem for us. And when I say that money is a problem for us, I mean that it's a problem for me, and therefore for Husband as well. That's part off what marriage is, sharing our problems.

You see I'm not great with money. I find that I'm either struggling with money, or I don't think I'm struggling and later I find out that I actually was struggling, but I didn't find out until it's too late. At that point, my frustrated Husband has to bail me out. This has happened more often than I'd like to admit. And I'm not so foolish as to think that that doesn't put a strain on our relationship.

So, Husband and I had a little discussion about how I can better manage my money, and he'll help me out a little bit. What we'll do is a little financial housekeeping that we should have done a long time ago. We'll combine our car insurance into one policy so that it will cost us less and will get paid for out of our joint funds, rather than each of us paying our own. We'll also use joint funds to pay for our cell phones.

Here's the hard part: Husband wants me to build a safety buffer in my personal account like he has in his. This has been a goal of mine forever, but I've never been able to manage it. And I know he'll be hounding me about it.

More of the First Couple

I think this speaks for itself.

Being Alive

Ok, at risk of sounding like one of those angsty teenagers who talks about how a certain song describes perfectly how she feels about her boyfriend, here goes:

Last night I was watching the musical Company on PBS (frequently interrupted by PBS representatives begging for money, of course). I used to love this show when I was in high school, but hadn't really seen it since.

So when Robert's big number came at the finale of the second act, what he had to say (er...sing?) hit me harder than ever. You see, he's singing about marriage and why he has avoided it, and yet why he also longs for it; and it struck me because I always find myself defending my unconventional relationship with my own husband, but Robert's words described exactly the sort of relationship Husband and I have.

Somebody, hold me too close, (Sometimes, he likes to
get in my space and smother me just to laugh at my claustrophobic
reaction.)

Somebody, hurt me too deep, (he does it too often
to count, I probably do it to him too.)

Somebody, sit in my chair

And ruin my sleep (Have I mentioned our disparate
work schedules?)

And make me aware

Of being alive,

Being alive.

Somebody, need me too much, (The man is helpless, I
tell you, HELPLESS.)

Somebody, know me too well, (we have a super hard
time keeping secrets from each-other.)

Somebody, pull me up short

And put me through hell

And give me support

For being alive,

Make me alive.

Make me confused, (So often, I ask myself why I
love this guy so much, and I just don't have the answer. I'm not even sure
I need the answer anymore.)

Mock me with praise, (Oh the sarcasm.)

Let me be used,

Vary my days.

But alone is alone, not alive.

Somebody, crowd me with love,

Somebody, force me to care, (He and I just don't
have the same interests, so this is an ongoing thing for both of us.
"Honey, it's not just any opera, it's TRAVIATA!")

Somebody, make me
come through,

I'll always be there,

As frightened as you,

To help us survive

Being alive,

Being alive,

Being alive!

This has been your daily mushiness. You can thank me later.

photo by Sandy Underwood: Raul Esparza in Company

A New Routine

Husband starts his new job tomorrow. After months and months and months paying his dues in a menial job he hated in order to get the experience he needed to pursue the career he wanted, he'll be starting a job that will use his skills and have huge potential for growth. I am so happy for him!

I'm also happy that with his new schedule I'll be seeing more of him. Although, I also fear that it will be a mixed blessing. You see, I've gotten used to being on my own most evenings and on weekends. I'm able to do my own thing; eat whatever I want for dinner, stay after work for drinks with my friends, et cetera. Now, I find myself thinking about cooking dinner, and not knowing what to fix since Husband is such a picky eater.

Another challenge is finding something for Husband to wear. In his previous job he wore a uniform, so it was pretty mindless. Now we're faced with finding something conservative and professional. We decided on his best charcoal and pinstripe suit with a white shirt. He pulled out the only two white shirts he owns and he was swimming in both of them. After a quick trip to the menswear store, we got two new white shirts and two ties.

I'm looking forward to seeing him off tomorrow morning, and hearing all about his first day tomorrow night.